Excuse my reality.

With five kids don’t ever expect my house to be an immaculate house. Let’s just bask in the semi-organized chaos that is my life. Reality is I have five kids, four of which are boys. Rough, rowdy, balls to the walls kinda boys. You know, the ones that are not kind to furniture, windows, walls, stairs, doors…the basic things that require a house to keep from falling into a pile of rubble.

Do you know how hard it is to get a whole entire floor of the house to what I call “oh shit we have people coming over” level of clean?

We have a game room that some how manages to get every damn pillow in the house lodged under the couch. I’m told it’s the kids “fort.” But really it’s a cave for bird feathers and dog hair tumble weeds. The pillows are just a mere barrier from the obvious. There’s some days I just chose to be blissfully unaware. Oh look a pillow on the floor, that’s cute…keep walking.

The kitchen…where cups go to die. Seriously. Why do they need so many damn cups? Not only that, they’re all half full of some kind of liquid concoction. They could just use the same cup, but oh no. Why would they do that? They require to have a fresh cup every time they need a drink. Heaven forbid they spill these drinks. First thing they reach for is a bath towel. I guess they don’t do well under pressure because they all freeze and one goes bolting upstairs to find a towel. Ummm… HELLO! There’s paper towels and dish towels right here. Not even five feet from you. Come on!!!

The living room is where the dirty laundry collects in the corner by the laundry room door. As in dirty, I mean they wore a shirt for four hours and had to take it off. Probably because they got a single drop of water on it. The pillows for those couches are on the floor or under the game room couch. Some how the curtains are always over the couch, rather then behind. Not sure if they’re trying to be modern Tarzan’s while I’m not looking or they’re too lazy to go get a blanket. Either one is not far from our reality. The window sills behind the couch are also another favorite spot of there’s to stash cups.

There’s sticky hand prints and dog noses on all my windows. Most of the blinds aren’t measured to the correct length: they only cover half the window. In my defense we bought the house like that. It’s on my to do list. There’s unknown sticky substances on my tile floors majority of the time. Just when I think I got them all, I find another. I guarantee you will find a multitude of treasures on my stairs. Usually on the sixth or seventh stair you’ll find a random piece of the kids underwear. Not sure why it’s there, but no matter how many times I pick it up they always find a way back.

By the time I have most of it picked up something else is back to a semi organized chaotic state. Win some, you lose some. Constant game of catch up.

What you’ll find here is real. Our life is crazy. Five tiny humans constantly pulling us in different directions. I’m only human and have learned that it’s more then ok to surrender to life. Whatever mess is there, will still be there tomorrow. My kids come first. I will not make an excuse for the state of my house. I will how ever give you a very real explanation. Most of the time, I’m tired, I’m overwhelmed, I’m just plain over it. Day in and day out the same thing can get to ya. No worries though, I know down deep in my soul that it’s all worth it. Every single mess, hole, paint touch up and spill.

It comes in waves.

July kicked off “birthday season” at my house. August we have our oldest sons birthday and our anniversary. In September we have our three younger sons birthdays, as well as mine. Not only that, we have school starting too. Ah yes, school. This year I’ll have four kids in school full time. Leaving me with just one home! It’s been a LONG time since I just had one kid home.

Anyways birthday season requires deep pockets. They’re getting older and the typical kid stuff is getting less appealing. YAY US!! *insert hysterical crying here* I’m that mom who doesn’t combine kids birthdays. None of them are twins, so they all deserve their own special day. Even if three of them are all with in 7 days of each other. Let me tell you…We max out on cake consumption from the months of July- September, no shame. In reality we have seven cakes in that timeframe, seven.

Besides birthday season. We have back to school shopping. There will be clothes, new backpacks, new lunch boxes, school supplies, shoes, uniforms for athletics, club fees, lunch money, and never ending supply of socks. Today I placed a target pick up order for just the boys in elementary school. Three backpacks, all the school supplies and a few packs of pens.

(Pens, pencils with erasers and socks are hot commodities in our house. When we really need them, they’re never around.)

Anyways, continuing with my story. Not one single extra thing for the house, my guy or myself. A total of $261.42. That’s right around $87 a child. On just things that a required to make it a little more then halfway through the year. We all know, come February we will get emails saying they’ve run out of something. Which I’m happy to help restock. They could say they needed glacier water from Mt. Everest and I would some how deliver. I have had my kids home for 3 months and some days have barely kept it together. Somehow these saints have our children ten months and rarely if ever lose their shit. That’s a big nope from me, couldn’t do it. Love my kids, but I’m definitely no teacher. I’d be in a corner somewhere, bald.

If it’s not birthdays or back to school, it’s car repairs or house repairs. Not just quick fixes either, oh no. It’s always a couple hundred to a couple thousand in price. I’m not kidding when I say, it’s one thing right after another. It comes in waves. We will get caught up and feel like we are getting ahead. Then, BOOM. Life right? Sometimes, it’s just a plain jerk.

We live in Texas and my suburban decided it was time to blow the AC system. We had a rental from the dealership and the only place we took it was to the grocery store. Yep, a cart ran into the rental and we ended up having to fork over $1,700 to get two pea sized dents and paint redone. On top of a $1,800 AC fix. I was super thrilled. We get it home and for two months all was great. Went out to start my car, wouldn’t crank. Good, great, grand!! My husband tried to jump it for twenty minutes before we got anything. By some miracle it started. Only to die a few hours later, again. We then got to dish out $220 on a battery. I mean, why in the hell not?

*shout out to my parental units for saving the day, again! Mom, your car is still safe in the driveway. The kids are constantly thinking you just showed up every time they look at the window*

What I’m saying is, having a large family is a ton of work. It’s a constant balancing act. Not just of life, but your bank account as well. I’m not a planner by any means. From July- December, you better believe I have some sort of organization going on. Whether or not you can see it is a different story.

Also, if y’all could stop staring in public that’d be awesome. I’m fully aware there are five tiny humans following me. I was pregnant for 45 months of my life, believe me. I know.

I am that mom.

I’m the mom that got phone calls every other day, if not daily from school. I was on a first name basis with administrators. I’m the mom that had school police and crisis intervention called on their child, because of his behavior.

I’m the mom that had to a put their child in summer school,not because of grades. But because of pure refusal to do work. He’s too smart for his own good, he knows it, we all know it. I’m the mom who had to take their child out of the school where his brothers attend and place him in a different school. A school that has a program to help him succeed and not crush his “free spirit mentality.” A school that will show him ways to use his determination for greatness. A mom who will show up any time , any place and discuss whatever needs to be addressed. I’m the mom that has ugly cried in front of a room full of teachers and begged for help. Grasping at anything and everything to help my child succeed. A mom whose nearly gone cross eyed from late night research sessions. Reading anything and everything I could to help better understand and educate those around us.

Believe me, I know he’s a lot to handle. I know, at times he’s vocally almost intolerable. He has excessive outbursts at the littlest of things. But don’t you dare treat him any less because of these things. I see the physical cues people give off when they’ve had enough of his ways. Give him some space and a whole lot of grace. Hell, just do both! It takes a lot of patience and nerves of steel. There is some days I’m running on fumes. But we don’t give up. We keep pushing.

You couldn’t even imagine how far he’s come in such a short amount of time. All I can do for now is love him through it. Better days are coming.

Until then. Que sera, sera ❤️

Who is the Chaos Coordinator ??

Who am I ? Where do I even begin? I am mom, I am woman, I am tired….I am tired as a MOTHER…. Okay, but for real this time.

I am a mom to 5 incredible (sometimes) kids. I have four sons and one daughter. Ages range from 12-3, yes I am crazy. I’m fully aware. To add to the craziness. All of their names start with the letter P. If you can guess all their names, then gold star for you!! I am a wife to a broad shouldered ginger man. This dude is a saint, he puts up with ALL of my shenanigans. #blessed. Fur mom to Paisley, Major and Kona.

My Guy
Garden center shenanigans

I started this mom gig almost 12 years ago. That is all I have ever known “career” wise. I have been fortunate to be able to stay home all these years and raise my babies. I’ll have four in school full time this year. So i thought I might as well take the time and do something for myself. Right? Never-mind, don’t answer that!! I’ll start second guessing myself and then we will all be in for a show. There is hardly ever a dull moment in my life. If there is, then something suspicious is happening. For real, silence in a large family…is TERRIFYING.

Major
Paisley
Kona and his girl

I’m not an expert by any means. But I do have some pretty awesome tactics on surviving motherhood. Although, dark circles may be required….

The chaos coordinator.